Saw this recently on the PurposeFairy blog. I decided to pass it on. -- Butch
9 Reasons Why U Should Not Be Ruled by Other People’s Approval
“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” -- Vernon Howard
Approval-seeking behavior …
If you ask me, this is where many of our challenges start. When you are too concerned with what other people think of you, you start sabotaging your life, and you try moving forward but with brakes on.
“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner” -- Lao Tzu
If we want to live life the way we want to and not the way others would want us to, we need to let go of our constant need to control what other people think of us, we need to learn to let go of our approval seeking behavior. I know that this is not always an easy task to do and that is exactly why I decided to write about the 9 reasons why you should no longer care about what others think or say of you, to point out some of the things we all know but we just need to be reminded of from time to time.
1. You simply can’t be liked by everybodyNo matter how much you try and no matter how “nice” you are with people, you simply can’t have everybody like you for there will always be people who will continue talking about you and your “inappropriate” way of thinking, behaving, breathing, dressing, living, etc.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” -- Winston Churchill
2. You can live a happy life without “their” approvalYou are not less or more of a person based on how many people like and approve of you. While growing up we were told that in order to be liked by others we must be nice to people and we are, but somehow we keep encountering people that don’t seem to like us. So why is that? Is there something wrong with us? Not really. Just because some people don’t like us, does not imply that there is something wrong with us, for that is not true. You are already, whole and complete and you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel this way. How freeing is that?
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” -- Wayne Dyer
3. You can’t control what other people think. . . we all live in different worlds, a different reality for each and every one of us, reality that was built based on our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, based on what we were taught while growing up. What I might see as being right, other people might see as being wrong, and what I might see as being beautiful other people might see as being ugly.
We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should act, and instead of wasting your time thinking about what other people think and say of you, why not spend that time improving and growing yourself, knowing that
“Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” -- Albert Einstein
4. Approval seeking behavior is time consumingIt takes a lot of your time, time that can be used to do the things that you really enjoy doing.
5. Approval seeking behavior drains your energyEvery time you spend time thinking and talking about what X or Y said about you, not only are you wasting your time, but you are also wasting your precious energy.
letting go of your need to control what other people think of you. Just give it a chance and you will understand what I am talking about.
7. Inner peace can be foundWe all seek peace and we all want to be happy and the moment you stop caring about what “they” think, you will find just that.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” -- Peace Pilgrim
8. You are the one person who is in control of your lifeMind your own business and live your life, the way you want to, the way it best suits you, and let go of your approval seeking behavior.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” -- Arthur Gordon
9. The one person you must get approval from is youIf you like and approve of yourself, believe me, it will no longer matter if people say nice things about you or not, for you will understand:
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” -- Carl Jung
You get to a point where you know, them talking about you has little or nothing to do with how you think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how they think, and who they perceive reality. A lot of times, what we can’t accept in others are the things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether we are consciously aware of this truth or not.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.” -- Wayne Dyer